Posted in Funny Updates/Quotes

40 Hilarious Quotes that made my day! :D

We’ve had way too many straight-faced poems going here,
time for a good laugh!
I came across this quotes, i dont know but kindda funny though, or is it just me??

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you
should make lemonade… And try to find
somebody whose life has given them vodka,
and have a party.
Ron White

I found there was only one way to look thin:
hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield

A successful man is one who makes more
money than his wife can spend. A successful
woman is one who can find such a man.
Lana Turner

I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and
becoming a cabdriver.
Zach Galifianakis

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing
moves?
Robin Williams

A day without sunshine is like, you know,
night.
Steve Martin

Between two evils, I always pick the one I
never tried before.
Mae West

When you are courting a nice girl an hour
seems like a second. When you sit on a red-
hot cinder a second seems like an hour.
That’s relativity.
Albert Einstein

Two things are infinite: the universe and
human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the
universe.
Albert Einstein

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two
choices: take it or leave it.
Buddy Hackett

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that
would triple its value every year. I told him,
“At my age, I don’t even buy green
bananas.”
Claude Pepper

The first time I sang in the church choir; two
hundred people changed their religion.
Fred Allen

The day I made that statement, about the
inventing the internet, I was tired because
I’d been up all night inventing the
Camcorder.
Al Gore

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
Oscar Wilde

Always forgive your enemies; nothing
annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde

Always end the name of your child with a
vowel, so that when you yell the name will
carry.
Bill Cosby

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I
realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin

Everybody knows how to raise children,
except the people who have them.
P. J. O’Rourke

I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to
be there when it happens.
Woody Allen

Anyone who says he can see through
women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
George Burns

A vegetarian is a person who won’t eat
anything that can have children.
David Brenner

All generalizations are false, including this
one.
Mark Twain

If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.
Laurence J. Peter

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As
you grow older it will avoid you.
Joey Adams

My fake plants died because I did not
pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you
ask at bedtime.
Red Skelton

People who think they know everything are
a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov

Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius
and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous
than absolutely boring.
Marilyn Monroe

Some government workers are dedicated
and work hard, but most of them are just
waiting to retire.
Wanda Syke

There are only three things women need in
life: food, water, and compliments.
Chris Rock

Fashions have done more harm than
revolutions.
Victor Hugo

All the candy corn that was ever made was
made in 1911.
Lewis Black

If you’re gonna be two-faced at least make
one of them pretty.
Marilyn Monroe

Everything that used to be a sin is now a
disease.
Bill Maher

A James Cagney love scene is one where he
lets the other guy live.
Bob Hope

First the doctor told me the good news: I
was going to have a disease named after
me.
Steve Martin

It’s amazing that the amount of news that
happens in the world every day always just
exactly fits the newspaper.
Jerry Seinfeld

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with
Guess on it. I said, Thyroid problem?
Arnold Schwarzenegger

Today you are You, that is truer than true.
There is no one alive who is Youer than You.
Dr. Seuss

Have a good day! 😀 😀 😀

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Author:

A little something about me! How about we go straight. Putting everything in written words, is definitely what i am obsessed with. Though i live in a world of science (a student of Chemistry/Biochemistry) which i also do love a lot too but when science runs wild and gets complicated, i run to my world of art to get things back in shape... to get my head a little less entangled in the web of science. Lets say i just love to maintain a balance between the two and writing my thoughts helps a lot with that. So my interest in blogging is built on my love for writing, everything goes down in written words. I say I write anything write able; from shorts articles to books (mostly fictional...) I love poetry, inspiring articles and short stories, nature, funny quotes and photos, everything that's gotta do with worthy creativity! Like i said, its all in words, my experience, life lessons and thoughts will be going here. If it turns out poetic, that'll be perfect! Sending positive and hopeful signals to a needing heart and restoring smiles to a grief stricken face gives breath and life it self... so my life literally can only be described as fulfilling when I am of positive help to others. If people could get the feelings attached to my written words, that'll be a job well done for me, So i am looking forward to that! I wrote once that what the poet's pen has written down, carries a lot more that the seeming words scribbled down on the surface, its deeper than you think, its sublime... it carries more than you can imagine... i think that's what i am about! Meeting and learning literally from new people is a dream come true, i hope i'd get that from you. I might never have the right words in a difficult phase but scorn vs being will definitely be pacific! Hey! The name is Jameelah! Thanks for the visit and looking forward to what Fate has in store for me and you! :)

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